I'm back home again, and grateful to be here.
I can't easily explain the turn of events that led me here. Things changed at work: my nice boss relocated, a new (indifferent) boss took his place, and suddenly through a series of unfortunate events, I found myself unemployed. Sometimes God has a way of closing one door if he is ready to open another. At any rate, I took advantage of my new "free time" and chose to come home. I packed up my kitties and set out for California again. I will miss seeing my Kansas family, but it is so good to be near my kids again.
Can you imagine the anticipation I felt as I saw the "Sacramento, 328 miles" (or whatever it says) sign post in Nevada? I remembered from previous experiences that the Nevada side is brown and then things suddenly turn green in California. The sun was just beginning to set as I drove through the Sierras, and into the state that I have grown to love. I wished I had time to stop in Lake Tahoe to admire the beauty of the pine trees, and the lake, but I had to keep going before it became too dark. I said to my kitties, "We're almost there..." and they looked at me quizzically through their cages. They had traveled enough to know that when it became dark we would find a place to settle down for the night.
For a few days after we arrived at my roommate's trailer, they kept looking at me as if to say, "Will we be going again?" They kept expecting me to put them in their turquoise cat carriers. Finally they realized that we were here to stay.
Hugging my kids again was the greatest thing. For any parent who has lost a child (or I suppose for anyone who has lost someone that they love), its the never being able to do certain things with them again that hurts the most. I can't hug Jeremiah again until I'm in heaven, though I will always remember his last, enthusiastic embrace that he shared with me. I had stopped by his father's house to say hello, and he ran out of the front door to me with a big smile on his face, with his eyes lit up in love.
I had shared a letter with him, challenging him to take his hurts and frustrations to the God he used to walk with so closely. He read my letter, and it seemed that he had taken my advice. The change in his countenance was very apparent. When he came over to me that last night, his eyes were shining, just as they did in a portrait of him as a small child, when they shone in innocence and pure delight.
I marveled at how beautiful he was, and the joy that I could see in his eyes. I said, "You did what I asked you to do..." He nodded his head in affirmation, with a smile, and then gave me a hug, saying, "I love you, Mom." My last moment with him, forever etched into my heart and mind.
And so yes (as I blink away the tears that are pooling in my eyes), I was able to come home to Bethany and Joshua, and had the opportunity to hug them again. Life's pleasures are truly the simplest ones, aren't they?
I wonder what God has planned for me. It must be something big, because he certainly has given me time to prepare for it.
I look forward to sharing my adventures with those who care about me, as they unfold.
God is good...no matter what.
I can't easily explain the turn of events that led me here. Things changed at work: my nice boss relocated, a new (indifferent) boss took his place, and suddenly through a series of unfortunate events, I found myself unemployed. Sometimes God has a way of closing one door if he is ready to open another. At any rate, I took advantage of my new "free time" and chose to come home. I packed up my kitties and set out for California again. I will miss seeing my Kansas family, but it is so good to be near my kids again.
Can you imagine the anticipation I felt as I saw the "Sacramento, 328 miles" (or whatever it says) sign post in Nevada? I remembered from previous experiences that the Nevada side is brown and then things suddenly turn green in California. The sun was just beginning to set as I drove through the Sierras, and into the state that I have grown to love. I wished I had time to stop in Lake Tahoe to admire the beauty of the pine trees, and the lake, but I had to keep going before it became too dark. I said to my kitties, "We're almost there..." and they looked at me quizzically through their cages. They had traveled enough to know that when it became dark we would find a place to settle down for the night.
For a few days after we arrived at my roommate's trailer, they kept looking at me as if to say, "Will we be going again?" They kept expecting me to put them in their turquoise cat carriers. Finally they realized that we were here to stay.
Hugging my kids again was the greatest thing. For any parent who has lost a child (or I suppose for anyone who has lost someone that they love), its the never being able to do certain things with them again that hurts the most. I can't hug Jeremiah again until I'm in heaven, though I will always remember his last, enthusiastic embrace that he shared with me. I had stopped by his father's house to say hello, and he ran out of the front door to me with a big smile on his face, with his eyes lit up in love.
I had shared a letter with him, challenging him to take his hurts and frustrations to the God he used to walk with so closely. He read my letter, and it seemed that he had taken my advice. The change in his countenance was very apparent. When he came over to me that last night, his eyes were shining, just as they did in a portrait of him as a small child, when they shone in innocence and pure delight.
I marveled at how beautiful he was, and the joy that I could see in his eyes. I said, "You did what I asked you to do..." He nodded his head in affirmation, with a smile, and then gave me a hug, saying, "I love you, Mom." My last moment with him, forever etched into my heart and mind.
And so yes (as I blink away the tears that are pooling in my eyes), I was able to come home to Bethany and Joshua, and had the opportunity to hug them again. Life's pleasures are truly the simplest ones, aren't they?
I wonder what God has planned for me. It must be something big, because he certainly has given me time to prepare for it.
I look forward to sharing my adventures with those who care about me, as they unfold.
God is good...no matter what.
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